


Hell In A Handbasket

by ebenflo



Category: Actor RPF, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 10:02:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8975155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ebenflo/pseuds/ebenflo
Summary: Colin Farrell walks in on his co-star watching his infamous sex-tape. The rest is history.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of pure fiction for entertainment only: no profit is being made and no offence intended towards the people portrayed.

Looking back, Colin thought hazily, this was all Ezra's fault.  
The little prick had done nothing but taunt and tease him for the better part of the eighteen months they took to shoot Fantastic Beasts. He danced around Colin like some sort of water-sprite, sent by the Gods to enact cruel and unusual punishment. He flitted and darted just out of grasp, never quite verbalising what is was he wanted out of or from Colin. He whirled and sauntered, playing with wigs and makeup, and Colin's emotions.

He deliberately cocked up takes, one after another - of that Colin was certain.

"Christ Ezra!" David barked, leaping out of the rickety folding chair behind the lead camera.  
"Sorryyyy." Ezra's smile was cheeky, infectious.  
He played the naughty schoolboy well and so they did the scene a third, fourth time, and each time the surrounding crew became more fidgety until Colin himself finally drew himself to his full height and snapped;  
"Ezra, focus!"  
He could barely register when Ezra leaned in just before the final take - the keeper - and whispered;  
"It's all for you."  
And that was it. The fifth take ran smoothly much to everyone's visible and audible relief and the film kept rolling.

But it all came to a head one balmy California night when the two of them found themselves in the same city for the first time since the press tour for Fantastic Beasts wrapped. Colin was quick to say yes to the invite, two text lines that bleeped up on his iphone while he pounded on the treadmill.

In a way, Colin missed the constant banter and bickering and errant Maltesers being thrown at him as he endured another hour in Makeup. That, and the fact he could never deny the little shit of anything. What Ezra wanted, Ezra got. 

Ezra was renting some ghastly hippy-commune type compound for the duration of filming of his latest super-hero blockbuster. Colin tried desperately not to think of tights and lycra as he loped up the long drive to the gates.  
The intercom buzzed for a long time before Ezra answered somewhat breathlessly.  
"Come on in, I'm up the back."  
Colin wondered where exactly "the back" was, but Ezra was hopelessly messy and all he needed to do was follow the trail of shoes and boas and... handcuffs? Colin gulped. Toys, and soda cans and...Jesus Christ. He recognised his own voice, thick with lust and comically unsexy, goading on his ex. Colin cautiously followed the breathy pants and moans all the way down the hall, and padded into the room. Was this what it was like, walking into a crime scene?  
"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?!"  
The video was paused, thankfully on a blurry, grainy bit of what looked like a bare thigh.  
Ezra, sprawled barefoot within the depths of a cushy armchair, looked up with innocent doe eyes.  
"It's just for education."  
Colin sputters.  
"Educa- Ezra where did you- but - what-"  
"Chill, pops. It's this little thing called the internet, although it would probably be right at home on HBO."  
Colin wanted to die. Just...please. A hole in the earth. A sudden bolt of lightning.  
He was a grown man for Christ's sake! And Ezra - he was just, he's-  
"You're a child!"  
Ezra let out the most dramatic eye roll in the history of anything and sighed a little puff of air.  
"Colin. I'm twenty-four. You can drop the protective Daddy routine. Unless...that's what you want?"  
Ezra rose languidly to his feet (did he even do things any other way? Colin wasn't sure any more) and suddenly Colin was faced with six-foot-something of visibly aroused boy.  
"Do you want that Colin?"  
"I'm not queer," Colin blurted out. He could hardly ignore the flash of hurt that blazed through Ezra's eyes.  
"Mmm. Have you been to Japan?"  
Colin thought that was an odd thing to ask the person you were apparently trying to seduce but he answered Ezra anyway...because how could he not when Ezra was looking at him that way?  
"Y-yes. Once or twice."  
"And did you like the food there?"  
"Ezra..."  
"I said," Ezra took an alarmingly close step towards Colin and gently pushed him back until his knees hit the sofa and he dropped to a sitting position. "Did you like the food?"  
"I guess. Uh - the- the sushi. The tea."  
"Hmm. Did you like the puffer fish?"  
"I didn't try the puffer fish," Colin managed to pant out, his skin ablaze under Ezra's fingers that seemed to be coaxing knots out of his shoulders.  
"So how," Ezra leaned in, his mouth dangerously close to Colin's ear, "-do you know whether you like it or not?"  
It was a strange analogy to use. Puffer fish and sex with a man. One thing could kill you and the other- oh Christ. Yep. What Ezra was doing would certainly be the death of him.

Ezra had climbed on to his lap, long legs straddling Colin either side and effectively trapping him.  
"I told you...it's all for you."  
"Ezra, we-"  
"Shouldn't? Couldn't? Won't?" Ezra was all familiar smiles and warm lingering touches that seemed to invite Colin to eternal damnation.  
"Oh fuck it."  
The squeak Ezra made as Colin ravaged his mouth was almost worthy payback for the humiliation he'd just endured.

Almost. He would personally see to it that Ezra paid for it in full. Even if it took all night.


End file.
